When it comes to the standard of beauty, I am yet to fully understand human nature. I have always wondered who sat down and designed the beauty measuring scale we use today.
Currently the beauty measuring scale (BMS) measures mostly based on the following criteria:
Your facial features: How good looking or how bad looking you are. If you have soft features you are considered beautiful and if you have strong features you are considered not so good looking
Your Height: It is not a secret that tall men have it easier with the ladies than their shorter counterparts. Many women like looking up at their men as opposed to looking down at them, because of the BMS. A fun fact is that, tall women have a hard time finding a guy they look up at and not many men like looking up at their women. Tall women purposefully wear flat shoes when out on a date (if they can get away with it) because they do not want to tower over their men.
Your weight: The smaller you are, the higher up the scale you are, and the better people treat you. Big people are treated with such disdain and disrespect. In order to get respect as a big person, you have to work hard to command respect. Even the fashion industry does not fully respect big body types. Have you ever noticed that all the smaller clothes are cute, sexy, well designed and bad ass looking? On the other hand big people’s clothes are mostly badly designed, very frumpy and shapeless. This adds to big people’s dilemma, since humanity also judges people on the way they dress and the effort you make in putting cosmetics on your face…etc.
I could name a lot of other things the BMS measures, like body shape (the hour glass figure has a really cool place on the BMS and everyone wants to have it, along with a thigh gap). I think you get the point, it is all shallow, superficial and baseless.
How can you honestly believe you will be happy with a person because BMS says they are hot or good looking? Truth be told, the fact that a person looks amazing does not mean that they are a good person inside. A good, loving, caring, compassionate person is what you need in a life partner, if you are to spend a life time with them. You are going to need to depend on your partner to have your back, so he or she needs to be more than just “cute”.
I believe beauty is also skin deep and needs to be measured from the inside out. Rate the internal beauty higher than the external beauty. If you notice a person based on the BMS, make sure you also look into who they are internally, because that is the determining factor to your happiness or misery (and you will do well to remember that).
You want to know that the person you are with, will not leave you in your darkest hour, or your deepest time of need. You want to know that your partner will still love you, when the physical beauty fades away and the wrinkles start to form. A partner who will not run and leave you at battle (with cancer or any other devastating ailment).
You want a partner that you will love unconditionally, a person you get along with and one you do not mind giving the world to, because they deserve it. When you have good news to share, no matter how many people you tell, it does not feel spoken until you tell the love of your life.
A person you can be yourself around, who supports you and never breaks your trust. Where you never have to worry about your safety or your rights as a person because they will never violate you or forcefully take away your choice and your joy.
Your partner must respect you and team up with you to build a great life together – team work is Key. Communication should come easy and everything must be safe to discuss without any judgments, no matter how hard or tense the discussion is. Your partner respects your family.
Todd, was a very nice guy, and possibly a 9.5 on the BMS. He had everything going for him physically. But his main problem, as is also most people’s problem: He was very superficial when it came to choosing a life partner/lover. He believed that beautiful people deserved to be with other beautiful people.
Along comes Tracey, the love of his life (so he thought). Beautiful, model looking and head turning. However, she was a beautiful goddess with an evil soul.
Of the ten years Todd and Tracey were together, she managed to suck all his joy, his money, alienated him from his family and made him a shell of his former self. But the plot thickened when Todd was diagnosed with prostate cancer. Tracey tried to pretend that the cancer diagnosis did not bother her, but she could not. So in his hour of need, Tracey packed her bags and left. Devastated, betrayed and sick, Todd realized that external beauty pales to internal beauty.
Thankfully, Todd is now in remission and picking up the pieces of his life.
Before you settle, make sure to look for a beautiful soul, because that is the most important, if you want a happy life. Look beyond the external.
A poor man can become rich, an overweight person can always lose weight, but if care is not taken, an ugly soul will always be an ugly soul.
The Rambling Diary 