In his book “Acres of Diamonds” Russell H Conwell tells a story about Al Hafed, a farmer who heard that people were making it big by discovering diamonds, so he sold his farm and went in search of diamonds. After years of searching, frustration and suffering, when his money was depleted and he could not find the diamonds he had set out to find, Al Hafed jumped off the cliff into the river viciously flowing below and drowned, never to rise again. Meanwhile, the guy who had bought the farm from Al Hafed discovered a shiny stone on the white sandy beach by the river that cuts through the farm, which later was discovered that the shiny stone was a diamond. Not only that, the farm turned out to be the largest diamond mine in history. Little did Al Hafed know that the diamonds he was looking for, had been right under his feet. Had he educated himself on what rough diamonds look like and had he looked for the diamonds on his farm first before he decided to sale his farm in search of what he already had. Al Hafed would have died a happy and fulfilled man.
“You are at this moment, standing right in the middle of your own acres of diamonds” ~ Earle Nightingale~
Everyone I know including myself has something or someone they regret letting go, without having given it/them proper attention, only to find out later that we had let go of acres of diamonds. Even you yourself, are acres of diamonds unto yourself, don’t under estimate your abilities.
I’m sure everyone has a story they can share about the diamonds they let go of without knowing fully well the value thereof. Let me tell you about Arnold and Rita, to drive home how the acres of diamonds story does not just relate to riches, but to every facet of our lives including relationships.
Arnold and Rita met in a grocery store one weekend. As a bachelor, Arnold was looking for a couple of frozen dinners to stock up in his fridge (supplies for the upcoming week). Rita had gone to get an ingredient for a cake recipe she had been trying out. Her little sister’s birthday was coming up soon and she wanted to bake her a really cool birthday cake. That is how Arnold and Rita ended up in the grocery store at the fridge section on that fateful day.
Long story short, they dated for a year and Arnold proposed to Rita in the most romantic way. The two got married in Hawaii by the beach, in what looked like a fairy tale wedding. It was really a thing to behold.
Rita loved Arnold so much that at times she did what he wanted even at the expense of her own happiness or her needs and wants. She was a very considerate, supportive, loving and selfless person. These are the qualities that Arnold had fallen in love with, but it is easy to take a person for granted when you know you can get your way with them. So Arnold started to take for granted his wife’s good natured character. He started to see Rita as beneath him, as a person he married who does what he wanted and did not have a say in the marriage. It got to a point where Rita would not dare speak up if she wanted peace to reign.
Rita was not happy anymore, the man who was once her world, her protector and her companion, had turned to resent and look down on her and she was not sure what went wrong or how she could fix it. She knew it had to do with her rolling over to please him and how she had not stood in as his helper and had not taken her authority as the woman of the house (for that she regretted, but still trying to figure out how to move into her proper roll under the circumstances)
Truth be told, in terms of education, Rita was more educated than her husband and it so happened that she also made more money than Arnold, yet she was humble about it and did not even think anything of it. In her mind, the money they both made was for the betterment of the family as a unit. She believed her and her husband were a team. Her parents always said “Be united, because if there is no enemy within, the enemy outside can do you no harm”. No matter how hard things got, her parent’s words always came to mind.
Arnold however, was not happy with the fact that his wife, who he looked down on was making more money than him. Even though he made more use and had control over the money than she did, he decided he will not be emasculated by her earnings, after all, he was the man of the house. That evening Arnold demanded that Rita quit her high paying job, because he wanted her to stay at home and take care of the house. This did not make sense to Rita, and for two weeks there were huge fights in that house hold. There was no peace for as long as Rita refused to quit her job. Arnold accused her of everything under the sun, from cheating on him with co-workers to prostitution. It was not pretty at all.
Rita did not have any kids and did not understand why she had to stay at home if there was no need to do so, especially when Arnold was the one who had put a hold on having kids for the time being, because he had said he was not ready. Worst of all, they were renting an apartment and had not yet bought their first home, so at the end of the day, Rita did not understand what this was about. She suspected it was personal and not logical. It made more sense for them to work together and build a future for their family before giving up one of their incomes.
Once again, for peace to reign, Rita gave up her job as the VP of Marketing and development at a very reputable company. Her bosses and the company as a whole, were very sad to see her go since she had been very influential in raising the company to the level it was, making it a top-tier company. They told her she could come back whenever she wanted and there would always be a job for her if she ever changed her mind and wanted to come back. That is how Rita left her corporate job.
Although their relationship was strained, Arnold was happy, he was now making more money than Rita.
With nothing else to do but clean their two bedroom apartment and make sure dinner is ready for Arnold when he gets home from work, Rita had more time on her hands than she knew what to do with. She started reading books and researching on a lot of things. Her mind set changed, her goals and her whole outlook on life also changed, for it is impossible to study, acquire knowledge and stay the same.
In her reading and research, Rita came across a business opportunity that she was sure would be very lucrative, and before she told her husband about it, Rita decided to look into it first, set it up and see if it would yield fruit first before she went to Arnold about it. Knowing how Arnold felt about her working, she was not in a hurry to tell him.
With the last of her savings that were in a small personal account she had opened before she was married and had forgot about until now, Rita quietly registered a company and started her online business. Within a short period of time, to her shock and surprise, the business was starting to yield seven figure earnings. This made her happy and uneasy at the same time, because if Arnold found out it would be a big issue.
While all this was happening with Rita, Arnold had started coming home late and at times sleeping out. At first his excuse was the work load he was being subjected to at work, until it was blatantly obvious that he was cheating on Rita. The couple fought about this issue a few times but Arnold believed that Rita was not going anywhere, with her jobless self. The plot thickened when the girl Arnold was creeping with, said she was three months pregnant and she was keeping it. The girl further demanded Arnold leave his wife and marry her instead. Arnold had grown to love Candice (the side chick), and she was carrying his child, so he felt the right thing to do was to marry her instead. Besides, they had always had fun and he had nothing to complain about her, all he had was “sweet” memories whenever he thought of Candice. With Rita, the sex had dried up, they had not been intimate in over a year, the relationship was strained, she was not working and he was tired of her dependence on him as the only bread winner.
At bed time, Rita was sitting up in bed typing on her lap top as she always did, Arnold did not care because he figured she needed something to do since she was not working and if it made her feel better to type up nonsense on that laptop of hers, then so be it. This so happened to be the day Rita had decided to tell her husband that the little project she had started online had turned out to be a diamond mine.
Rita was still talking it through in her head, how she was going to tell him in a way that he would be accepting and excited about the project, how she would make him see that this could turn out to be a big step forward for their family.
When Arnold walked into the room, Rita was actually on her lap top logging into her company’s bank account, so she could show him the $4.5milion balance as backup to support her story, just in case he did not believe her.
Before Rita could utter a word about her business, Arnold threw a document at her on the bed. Rita looked up at him in confusion as she unfolded the document. The word that popped out at her on that document was “Divorce”. In shock, Rita drops the document back down on the bed and looked at Arnold in disbelief. Arnold told her to sign the document so both of them can get on with their lives.
It was not what he said that drove Rita crazy, but rather how he said it. He told her to sign the divorce papers the same way he told her to quit her job, the same way he has talked and forced her to do what he wanted. With entitlement and self-importance as if it is a done deal and he is just mentioning it as a formality. Arnold did not realize that Rita could lose it like that, he was even scared she might hurt him and hurt herself.
Arnold told Rita that the girl he was dating for a while is pregnant with his child, and he was willing to give Rita anything she asked for in the divorce settlement. All Rita heard was “pregnant” and a state of calm came over her. She shut down her laptop, turned off the lamp on her side of the bed and went to sleep. Arnold was too afraid to sleep on his side of the bed, which is why he slept in the second bedroom that night. The calm that came over Rita did not sit well with him, he had never seen it before and he did not like it.
Rita work up very early the next day. Packed all her clothes, documents and loaded them into her SUV. The same SUV Arnold had been thinking of selling, but had not gotten around to putting it up for sale (He did not think Rita needed a car since she was a stay at home mother wife). Rita left everything else, she did not want anything that would remind her of Arnold in anyway. She was done, she had closure and it did not make sense to drag it out.
After her clothes were in the car, Rita went back inside to make herself a cup of coffee and wait for Arnold to wake up. When he came out of the second bedroom. Rita approached him, removed her apartment keys from her key chain and gave them to him. She told him that her lawyer would look over the Divorce papers and will be in touch with him. Going forward she preferred to deal with him through their lawyers. She also told him that, she did not want anything from him and that he could keep the money in their joint account as long as he never contact her ever again.
Rita went to stay with her friend while she figured herself out. She contacted a good lawyer who handled her divorce without having to declare her earnings from her private company (to be honest Arnold did not ask her to disclose anything because he did not think she had anything of value that would benefit him, plus he did not want to share the $200K in their joint account that Rita had told him to keep in anger). Once the divorce was done, Rita changed her phone number, bought herself a really cool house and focused of growing her business.
Four years later, Rita was asked to talk at a General Conference by one of her clients and for networking purposes, she agreed to come and talk about business. So, without giving away her company’s secrets, she gave a talk on business, how she started her company, what it has grown into and were she planed to take it in the future. By now Rita’s company was worth over $100Million and growing still.
Rita was also now in a very good relationship, better than the one she had had with Arnold. She was very happy with Greg. He was also a business man who understood, supported, encouraged and challenged her to go beyond her limits. Most of all, his manhood was not threatened by her income, rather he was happy he had a humble, industrious and virtuous woman such as Rita was in his life.
Turns out, Arnold and Candice were at that same Conference for work, since they work for the same company. Which explains how they met. For the last four years their relationship had been rocky at best and it was obvious they were staying together for the kid. Arnold had regretted letting Rita go and having treated her like he did. He had even tried to call her number a year after the divorce and found out that it had been changed. So seeing her at the conference at the level she was now at, was a big shock to him and the regret worsened.
Just then, Arnold realized what he had thrown away. He realized that he had been standing in his own acres of diamonds, but he left it all in pursuit of a glittery objects and mirages.
The Rambling Diary 